Monthly Archives: September 2012

The sins of the father should not be passed down to children

So I find myself thinking more and more about racism these days. Mainly because I find this to be a touchy subject and I kinda wanted to rant about it. First and foremost I would like to express that I am not racist in any way shape or form. In my eyes racism is hating or disliking people for the color of their skin. I do not dislike any person based off of what they look like. I dislike people based on their actions and how they treat other human beings. I try not to hate though cause hate is, and I truly believe this, what drives us apart. I am white. Does this mean that I should feel like a piece of shit for the things my ancestors have done? Hell no. I am white but that doesn’t define me as a human being. Being Scottish/English doesn’t define who I am, it may define how I look but not who I am. The same goes for being black. Just because you are black it doesn’t define you to be anything. Being African American doesn’t force you to do anything or be anything. What we are, and who we are is eternal and it’s all in the brain. Every single human being whether black, white, brown, yellow, we all use a brain to function the same working organs and body parts. We all bleed. We all have a subconscious mind. We all are connected somehow on a subconscious level. Yet we are divided cause we are not in tune to that part of our brain. We focus too much on what’s on the outside that we forget that everything needed to be anything is on the inside. This goes with so many venues of human society. Prejudice as a whole really. Sexism, racism, looking down on others. It squelches people’s path to self discovery which is, in my opinion, one of the most evil sins of all. Crimes against one another, or just words thrown out. Now I, myself personally don’t believe in bad words I believe in bad intentions. If I say something, it should not be misconstrued as racist or sexist or that I hate someone. It should be taken in the context it was said in. For example if I were to say this joke. What do you say if you’re t.v is floating? Smile so I can see you’re black ass. Does this make me racist? People may read this and find me contradicting in a way or find me infuriating and believe me it was not my intent but read that joke. Think about it seriously. It’s not racist to say black people are hard to see in the dark. It’s not. It’s not racist to say my pale ginger ass glows in the sun. I am a god damn lighthouse with my shirt off. However a joke like this being said by a person of my complexion is very vilified. I’m not the villain, the part of your brain that says I am a racist for saying this is. Now, I won’t go so far as to say racism doesn’t exist. It does, in the hearts and minds of all ethnic backgrounds. Some white people are retarded enough to say they hate everyone who isn’t white. The Ku Klux Klan, Aryan brotherhood, Black Panthers. They are all the same, breeding lies and hatred through out these lands. That’s right I am putting the Black Panthers in the same group as the K.K.K and the Aryan brotherhood and let me explain why. Racism, the Chubbz definition of racism. To be retarded enough to discriminate and or hate people simply for the fact they are different than you. This has another word for it, it’s called Ignorance and closed mindedness. The K.K.K started cause a bunch of southern assholes decided they hated the blacks being freed. The Aryan Brotherhood just thinks they are superior to anyone who is not white. The Black Panthers were driven by their hatred of whites. It is not wrong to want change when it comes to you’re fellow mankind however making a party derived from hate that spreads hatred and ignorance against another people is just as wrong as anything. Everyone will read this and go “oh my god, he is bashing the black panthers”. You’re right. I think that The Black Panther Party is just as guilty of spreading hate as any other organization. Things need to change and I will give you that, but change doesn’t need to happen by force. It needs to be in the hearts of people. Honestly I believe that Racism among white people is all but dead now. I believe that most of everyone in America is now smart enough to know that being Racist is stupid and gets us nowhere. I believe we are on the precipice of either the biggest change in history or a full societal collapse. Either something’s going to change or it’s all going to break and this I know for sure. Like I said in my previous post that every human being as the perfect balance of destruction and creation. Let us all connect in that subconscious level and create something amazing. Whether you are black, white, brown, yellow or Jewish, or any ethnic background really which has been Oppressed and felt prejudice, don’t let what people say or do bring you down. Further and foremost never be ashamed of what you’re skin color is, and never let you’re skin color be the defining factor of who you are and don’t ever let it sway you’re emotions. Don’t give people the power you give them cause when you run into a true Racist person the only reason why he hates you and says those things is to get at you. Make you pissed, make you want to rip him apart. Don’t let what idiots say or do control you’re emotions. Stay strong and, as I always will end these rants, find yourself. Love who you are.


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Beautiful Life

The sky fell like righteous fire that day. The oceans boiled and roiled and crashed and thrashed. The world itself became like the chaotic nightmare of a child. I screamed and cried and told them of the sky, oceans, and world. None listened, for none could hear the voice of the broken. Some turned however, and began to heed the words spilling from my mouth. They looked pale white, wearing their stress in the bags that hung below their eyes. Yet a spark of life remained in them, buried deep within their bottomless eyes. A spark of hope, of truth and of love. They needed to see this, they needed to hear this, and they saw where I pointed, they listened, as the world turned away, to my seemingly senseless babbles. They recognized truth within every word I spoke. They saw no personal motive to the message I passed, and therefore knew it to be true. They craved direction, I pointed out the path.
I promised nothing in return for heeding the warning, I promised pain, death and loss would still stalk them everyday. I only swore, that in the end, when the world has forsaken them, had beat them down, and nearly destroyed them, that they were eternal. That they are part of something so much bigger than petty border disputes, and wars over power and money. That they are more beautiful than anyone will ever truly see, that when they pass from this life, this world will be a little darker, but the one they enter after this life, well it will be even more radiant. I showed them the strength inside to wage a never ending battle against every dark, hateful creature that stalks the landscape. Strength they never knew they had, but it remained always, right next to that secret place you hide things, right next to your heart. I never asked anything in return, except to know me, and love me.
In the end they knew and loved me. The sky calmed to a dark grey, rain readying itself to fall the miles to the surface of the earth. The oceans calmed, almost not a ripple could be seen across the span of the earth. Then the rain began, washing the chaos free from the earth, restoring life giving water to all the life on the planet. An old soul passed softly into the unknown, leaving an old broken shell, with a giant smile upon it. I then traveled to the moon and danced upon its surface, and there I found her. The most beautiful soul this earth has ever, or will ever know. Together we danced, and made love on the surface of the moon staring down at the earth, and beholding all the while the trail of sun we had left behind us. Knowing someday the light will return to us, and all will be white, as the driven snow.
                   Jake Sellers 12
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Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Combustible Conversations


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On the subject of God fearing folk

I sit here, a tiny blip on a map of millions of different things including brains. The human brain is amazing, the fact that we are all connected on some level and yet completely different. For example I am me and you are you but we can connect and relate in a way so close it’s scary. I write this hoping some poor hapless bastard finds it and questions everything. Questions are the cure, fear is the enemy. I grew up in a small town in the middle of Nowhere, Utah. The religious oppression in this state is immense and I know that in some places it is the same. Yet this is the place I know for I was born here. I grew up in the L.D.S church and since I was a kid I was told that fear is the work of Satan trying to keep us locked down. My brain slowly started questioning and in the end I only found all the religious people living in fear. A fear of not being able to “unlock the secrets to everything” or some bullshit like that. A fear of not being able to live with their creator and family. A fear that excludes them from being them. The carbon copy personality types in this state is astounding. Looks like someone just dropped off a bunch of robots off the mission train. Two years of not being able to do anything but preach a gospel and convert people, of course you would come back the same would you not? Seeing how people raise their kids in this state, seeing how fucked up it all is, it’s terrible. The girls you know who go to Hollywood to make it big and instead get hooked on drugs and become hookers? That’s girls who were raised like they were in Utah. Sheltered, not knowing a thing, unable to comprehend why people do horrible things. Sorry but parents need to teach their kids what is going on and not only that but everyone needs to quit lying to kids. I mean sure shelter them when they are innocent but when they grow up and start thinking for themselves give them the knowledge of the world and life. The only knowledge given to me was God loves us all, follow him and live forever in happiness with you’re family. I didn’t know life would go down this way. I never saw the tide pull back as it rushed to suck me in. Movies, music, parents, teachers, everyone of them all lie. They don’t tell you that life is gonna suck, that when someone you love dies it’s gonna be like shoving a rail road nail through your chest and walking around. They never tell you that sometimes, and only sometimes, love fails. They also never tell you that when love wins it’s the most amazing miracle in the world. They also don’t tell you that you are the miracle needed. They never tell you that this life is amazing as well as hurtful. They never tell the teenage kids going through depression that life is 80 years of doing anything and that this depression is here for a reason but it will go away. Everyone just buries their heads and lets the kids raise themselves. Kids who don’t know anything else will always fall back on the religion, always. They fall back because that’s all they were taught to know. To leave everything you know is to start life brand new and that’s too hard and too terrifying. They would much rather live in the same place they grew up without living in a different state or country or anywhere, go on a mission and start a family. What nobody tells these parents though is how can the broken raise anything that isn’t broken? Broken people raising broken kids.  It’s a vicious cycle that never ends. I am one of those guys people glare at for buying beer in a store. For cursing in public. For wearing shirts that don’t have Jesus throwing you a thumbs up. In my eyes I have never done anything deserving of such treatment or anything worth going to hell over yet I feel millions of eyes glare at me like I’m scum. I have said it once and I’ll say it again. God is a crutch. God, if there is an omnipotent creator who made everything including me didn’t stick around. No I’m not being pessimistic it’s truth. Think of you’re brain and all the options laid out before you past, present and future. Of all the left turns you could have taken and you would be a completely different person. Imagine that but on a scale so massive cause that’s every single person in this world past, present and future. You can’t blame God for raping kids. You can’t blame God for killing someone. You can’t blame God for wars. You can’t. If there is a creator, this is what he is. He made us, he started the wheels of time turning, he loves us. He can’t interfere, he can’t help. He watches us and this I truly believe. I choose to believe this and yet we could even go further out there and say what is a God? Is it a person? Is it part of our own brain? Is it a duck billed platypus? Who the fuck knows? All I know is God didn’t drink and drive that night. He didn’t touch that kid. He didn’t put that knife to their throat. He didn’t put the gun to their head. He didn’t say “Believe in me or die”. That was us. Made with the perfect balance of destruction and creation and yet everyone goes the destructive path. Why? Is it the parents? Is it them? What makes people do these things? Furthermore what makes the victims blame a God? The answer is they don’t know how to deal with their emotions, they don’t know how to accept the fact that shit just happens. Sometimes there is an answer for what happens but in the end it’s all just here say. God fearing folk are the ones who use him as a crutch. They give him way too much credit and yet they blame him for so much more. I guess what I’m trying to say, my fellow broken soul, my brother/sister reading this. If you are in that spot where you think there is a hell and you are going there question again. If you are in that spot where you just feel a complete lack of happiness and the negativity has taken hold of you. Suicidal thoughts. Crying. Screaming for help from some distant plane of existence. I’ve been there. Help isn’t on the way but I’ll give you one better. Everything we need to survive and find happiness is inside each and every one of us. It’s that part of the brain that connects with friends to the point that they are now you’re family. Follow that part, follow your mind and find out about yourself. Don’t shy away from who you are cause at the end of the day that is all you really have. Even if you find someone you love you could never have their mind and brain the same way you have your own. Keep surviving. Never let go and above all else don’t rely on anyone else to make you happy. Find yourself.


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They can’t see you with my eyes.
I see worth far more than all their lies.
The more you try, the more they beat,
trying to make you kneel, before their feet.
Don’t give up, don’t stay down.
Fight them, defy them, spit upon their crown.
You can win this battle, defeat them all,
if you but just refuse to fall.
Keep your head high, refuse to die,
their truth deny, disbelieve the lie.
Stand strong, for it won’t be long,
you’ll see yourself, see their wrong,
I’ll then be along, we shall then destroy this throng,
and finally find ourselves,
right where we belong.
Wrapped in arms, full of heat.
Wrapped in this bed, of satin sheets.
Safe, alive and together blindingly bright,
more so than the sun, now they see our light.
Jealously they’ll still try,
but our truth together, none shall deny.
None can shatter, that which we shall build.
Sanctioned by the sun, by the moon be sealed.
We shall be eternal, never-ending, be one.
Then no matter the beating, we shall never be undone.
It’s meant to be, its destiny.
Can you see, you’re meant for me?
I am for you, know it to be true.
So we are due, and I but await the queue.
Let me know, when to show,
which way to go, and how to grow.
I shall be waiting, just praying,
you will ask for saving, instead of just craving,
more abuse, from the noose,
that now hangs round your neck,
allow me to remove it, then destroy it to the speck.
Then free, you shall see,
and stand right next to me, and we shall be,
Jake Sellers 12
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Poems


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