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Monthly Archives: October 2013

Progression

Paralytic thoughts assault the conscious mind. I hit my knees and toss some hope out into space. I’m hurting for a blessing and dying for a miracle. I stare at the road directly ahead and wonder, with senseless abandon, can I make it through the sinkhole ridden landscape and land on solid ground once more? A man of countless words arranged in a tapestry of pain and disappointment,  just praying to reclaim his smile. I would sacrifice what little I have and more for a spot of light to appear on this desolate horizon.

Let the sea rage around me. Let the sky spit an ocean upon my head. Let the pain seperate the mind from what I’ve done. Let the mountains erupt in glorious fiery judgment. Bash the flesh against the bone. Rake my soul over the embers of a former life. Melt away the impurities. Beat me stronger… BEAT ME STRONGER! Let the sting leave me gasping in enlightened agony. Let it humble me and put me low. Above all else… at the end… just let it leave me be.

And now I’m dancing for rain. And now I’m flowing down. And now I’m reaching deeper. And now I’m pushing forward. And now I’m tuning out. And now I’m fading in. And now I’m dripping dreams. And now I’m bleeding truth. And now I’m gripping something. And now I’ll never let go. And now I’m constructing castles. And now I’m deconstructing fortresses. And now I’m a saint. And now I’m a sinner. And now I’m a King. And now I’m a God. And now I’m a man. And now I’m an insect. And now I’m eternal.

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Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Cerebral Solace

Dream swept orange and purple sunsets coincide, coincidentally, with an overwhelmingly calm lake. Intermittent rainfall plays the notes that collide with the soft beat of a million swelling hearts. A half a moment in the vastness of eternity… perfected if only…

What is left in the wake of brutality? Does the very dirt remember the violence? Does something dark not remain behind? Shadows that reach out and choke with vicious pleasure. Darkened eyes, closer and closer to death with each dose. Almost clinging to the hem of death’s benevolent cloak with a plastic smile. Forgot to remember, that he will eventually turn… and gather you up.

The smell of Turkish tobacco intermingles with the fresh scent of rain. The world is softly glowing as the fog enhances the illumination of the night. The whole world seems to be asleep and peace has finally come, if only to this little corner of the universe. The soft scent of cheap whiskey soon begins to become detectable in the air. The sky breaks for one last watery assault. Hunched over with hood up… the cigarette still burned.

The inside of the tent smells of the moist, early, mountain morning. The water is as chilled as the frosty air. No parched throat in human history has ever been saturated with purer waters. The world seemed to bubble and float away. The fires dying coals are fed fresh fuel and soon flames burst to life once again. The world softly begins to brighten as the rain begins to fall from the heavens. Intentions perfectly interlaced together with reality… perfected if only…

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Posted by on October 24, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Autumn Rain

Here I am floating. I see and feel the moisture gathering around me. The world turns grey as I become fully immersed in wet clouds. I’m collected and surrounded in water and I feel the thirsty ground far below, pulling me towards it with carnal urgency. I fall for what seems like a moment and an infinity wrapped within the same blink.

I strike the mountain with an immortal plop. I’m gathered again and surrounded in water, I’m rushing and tumbling through the mud and growth. I feel the water grow ever expansive around me. I glance left and see the eye of a fish, seemingly dead and panicked all at once. I watch as he swims below me and joins several others in the deeper pool below.

The flow slows and I’m staring into a clear sky. I look around and find myself in a leaf filled lake. I float with the current and end up on a sandy shore. Staring up as the sky turns black and the moon and stars shine white. I inevitably drift back up, towards eternal skies and everlasting flow.

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Posted by on October 21, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Serpentine Trailing

I wonder if the trees remember when Lucifer fell from heaven? Do their ancient roots remember the feel of the earth as it revolted in his touch? Did the wind spread word through a hundred whispering leaves of the fallen son?

I was there when Lucifer landed. I saw the fracture spread. Much like a living unseen cancer, it spread its claws ever farther. Until its hands grasped fully the hearts of man, and Devils became Gods. I watched love become the enemy, and hit my knees as hate became currency.

I saw a generation bear the weight of a million lies and an inherited dogma. Hate and fear had began to seep into their minds as children. Innocent dreaming turned into cynical realism seemingly overnight. All the while the sky burned as they bathed in ashen waters.

Golden succulence and silver sin lay the background of the apocalypse. We’re breeding creatures in the shadows that could never survive the light of day. They have learned of a way to destroy hope and to blot out the sun. Chemicals of sedation are present even now in our elementary schools.

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Posted by on October 21, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Roll

I want it back, this thing given away. A toll has been paid, my entire being, the price. If I’m wrong then prove it. Show me how to see. Take these eyes and make them yours. Remove from me the thought process of death. I’m mortal, as frail now as the day I first tasted oxygen. You are as well. Death shall be along soon enough.

How do I learn to live as if tomorrow doesn’t exist, when it remains my worst fear? A man with nothing who marks his worth in the same category, yet what is to gain in a world where all is dust. Existentialism at it’s finest as I write words disassociated from your current climate. For if it doesn’t matter, and if in a hundred years I’m as unknown as the nameless John Does that fertilize our future crops… well then guess what? A dream has died before it was conceived and the doctor performing surgery is as drunk as I.

There was a moment, where all the beauty of the whole wide world coalesced upon me. It took my breath as well as my fear away. For a momentary drip in the vast ocean of infinity… I mattered. I created fire and ice. I let it flow from me as if I were the fountain of youth itself. Darkness was enveloped in an ocean of clarity and the demons that lay in wait ran for the darkest corners of my universe. Dreams held enough weight to break the thickest cable and shatter the largest scale.

There are no words in the history of human civilization, that could ever properly describe the ending of this petty written excuse for a reason to breathe. So I won’t even bother to try. I will in closing only offer this…

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Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Murmur

“Grit and grime, mixed deliciously with sin and crime, to bring together and disrupt time and rhyme”

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Versions of the straight and narrow attack my reality with ill regard for its safety. Consistently stranded in the vast expanse between right and wrong, just begging for a moment of spiritual clarity. I saw a line once. Found joy in its light and drifted into an eternity trapped within a moment.
Inhaling with sick delite the black smoke, I exhaled demons that stuck to my past, my present and my seemingly limited future. Stuck breathing the second-hand exhalation of hellfire and brimstone, I’m left with an aching rasp and calloused flesh. A creature of waylaid best intentions and an apocalypse worth of skeletons in my closet.
Is there no room left in the world for redemption? Must the water always boil down into retribution? It seems as if the path has opened up and allowed fractures to weigh it down. I see everyone holding so much up everyday, a million faces, a million dreams and hopes. I have to believe that at some point we felt like matter actually mattered and forgot the feel of the water just beneath our feet.

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“Wrap me up and cocoon me in noise, take my words and expel them with your voice”

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2013 in Paradise Drift

 

Rainy Daze

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               A wildflower strewn meadow holds a dream entombed within. I would throw myself at the foot of your sacred altar. I would offer obeisance and demand that you take my heart or my life. For if my heart no longer beats for you well then it’s music is pointless. I would swallow my pride and enslave every monstrous demon within.

Experience the path of chaotic arraignment and miscellaneous judgements.
I’ve got an army behind me and a battlefield before, dreaming of a myth and praying for a dream. If I put my faith on the line would you let it fall slack? Would you pull it tight to your chest and hold for dear life? Would it truly matter at all in the end? A willow wisp in the wind caught in time and formatted for the blind.

               Drift with me into the vast ocean of time. Imagine a hero slaying a wicked King, and a princess finding true love. Follow along the gutter and picture an angel torn from heaven. Wings shredded beyond healing, blood collects in the corners of her mouth. Defiance rings of inner strength but is actually more often than not motivated by a core of absolute fear.

               Thread the needle and stitch the cuts. Collect with obsessive grace every last piece. Construct the image I dare never see. Fractured images lay askew. Four nightly recollections and it’s killing me. Weighing the pro’s and con’s of staying awake and sleeping serves to only pump my raging heart faster. So many wounds you beg for me to heal, yet everywhere I go… I’m already dragging a river of blood.

               Brother, I failed you. I have remained silent and still. The plan has proceeded and I am choking on the blood from biting my tongue. Sister, I’ve lied to you and so has the world. You are the sacred sacrament the world should respect, instead they have twisted your role and that of all man. Family, I have meant to embrace and lift, not to flounder and sink. Pooling at the edge of my vision the darkness begins to rise.

               I’ve been scraping away the inner layers of my mind. The story has already been told, written in enough ink to float a vessel. The painting is conceived in color we simply choose to see it in black and white. The dream is reality and the waking world is the lie. When I finally leave this world I pray I’m only remembered as four things. A dreamer, a brother, a lover and an artist. I would feel as if no time had been wasted, if that were the case.

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Posted by on October 11, 2013 in Paradise Drift