Hollow words arranged in a tapestry of doubt. Father, I beg you to set me on my purpose. Teach me to live as if I am unaware that I will die. Father, I can’t cry anymore. My eyes have dried up much like the oasis that had sustained my heart. Father, I don’t want to hate myself anymore. I want to believe that there is nothing that I could’ve done. Father, I know that’s a lie and it’s killing me every passing day. Father, I have wandered from the path and now find myself hopelessly lost among this hurtful fog.
Father, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that an apology will just never be good enough. Father, who has watched over me since my first breath, I am sorry to have squandered the precious gift. Father please… take the burden of guilt that weighs me down like concrete in the ocean. Remove from me my crimson hands, wash me clean in your righteous fire. Help me feel again… as if every breath is a blessing as opposed to just one more step closer to the grave.
Hollow words ring into empty space. Where there is no ear than surely there is nothing to hear, so am I just talking to myself? Please be there… please give me a reason… please… a reason to fight… please… a reason to live. Please Father… please.