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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Past View

Fall with me for a moment if you would. Imagine the calculated assassination of an entire population due to the threat of overpopulation. In this threatening thread we find nothing but sick rationalization and twisted contradiction and we are all lost and bleeding within their convolution. Just imagine a civilization built on the blood of an entire nation holding hope hostage with an evil sort of passion.

Now tread where none dare scramble. The grave is the eventual end, for you, and for me my friend. We come in bloody with fresh innocence to rend, and it’s become an increasingly twisted trend, to throw the piss with the shit and to let it blend. At the end of the day it’s just another letter we all forgot to send and an impossible direction in which to bend.

Grip my hand. I watched as you hesitated in the terrifying face of the fated. It’s been sedated and pushed past hated. It’s a faded definition of what it truly means to be jaded. The dream was overrated and has been tossed up to be graded. After all the sun is impossible to feed to the over shaded, and the screams of the damned have grated, at my soul with an echo completely belated, and now I stand increasingly berated and faded and hated and now I’m just begging to be sedated.

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Posted by on April 30, 2014 in Paradise Drift

 

Watching the Sky Fall

Hush now. Whispered admissions of adolescent guilt feverishly exhaled in pale moonlit hours, each one decreases the weight upon my chest. I needed you to know me, to still love me in spite of myself and all the darkness lurking just below the calm facade that held you captive. I took everything you had to give up until the moment you took it away. I reserved an ocean and still expelled a universe from within. I thought I was immortal, I thought I was something more.

And I fucking hate you because I’ve forgotten what you smell like. I despise you because I can’t seem to recall the sound of your voice. I loathe you because I’m shaking in this bed of secrets all alone. There’s no sympathetic ear for the foolish, at least that’s what they tell me when I’m drunk and writhing on the concrete. Grip the chest just to hold the bleeding for another minute. Clench the jaw and save the pain for another hour. Swallow the pill and inhale the smoke in order to hold to dreams for another day. There… I see it… a six foot drop into an inconvenient plot.

Best laid plans, lay laid to waste in vain. Destroyed and left burning with false insecurity and broken promises. The mind opens like a childhood bloom and the world creeps in like destructive insects, seeking to sap all the life from this gorgeous flower. I break the wave and stand with shoulders squared and head pulled back counting the stars. I’m whispering confessions unto the night sky when the rain begins to fall. My knees strike the plush lawn and I scream to the phantom who claims infinity… erase me.

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2014 in Paradise Drift

 

Colorful Days

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Posted by on April 20, 2014 in Paradise Drift

 

Brother Of Mine

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Posted by on April 20, 2014 in Paradise Drift

 

Mostly Benign

I meant to fall through the mind of a child and become pure once again, crimson baptismal fonts steal the blue from the skies. It’s like shackles attached to talons that have laced themselves together with my spinal column and I can’t pull away… I can’t tear away.

It’s gripping me and holding the child hostage at gunpoint with itchy triggers and bated breath. It has worked its invisible claws through the ribs across my swollen heart and is caressing it with its frozen points and inane logic. I’m scrambling and scratching so that my skin has begun to dry and flake to the ground. It gathers around me like the wardrobe of a stage actor. Who is he when the last costume has been cast aside? It’s beyond hurt feelings and senseless anger. Eons past fragile fractured dreams and promises pushed past exaltation and exhalation. In the corner of an ill conceived long ago abandoned idea, there lies an empire of caustic hope, that will burn a hole, clean through idealistic talons, brittle ribs and abused organs.

I threw a letter to myself through the sandstorm of time. It hit me in the face and rocked me back on my heels. I gripped the lie in my shaking hands and pondered what could have been the reason? So hold me. Grip me forgotten friends. Hold me till the morning comes. Hold me till the mourning comes.

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Posted by on April 19, 2014 in Paradise Drift

 

Deliverance

I don’t know who I am. Hell, I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be. Blinding neon signs promise so much yet deliver absolutely nothing. There’s always the book I suppose. The word of God. I feel an abstract disconnect from my creator and I’m unsure whether the devil is the cause… or just my humanity questioning everything. Is this it?

I never have felt good enough. A trait gift wrapped and handed unto me. I hate myself. I’m encapsulated by it. I want to shake it off, walk away and become a new person. You see, there is an anchor, cemented upon my chest, right over my heart. One can follow the chain that is connected to it all the way back to when it was created. These links are thick and incredibly strong. I fear that they will never be shattered… that I shall never be free.

For what it’s worth, it was worth everything to me and I wouldn’t change a single second of it. The warmth. The love. Electric currents stretch the memory of it for me and leave me smiling always. There’s no way back and I know that, for it was my hands that set the flame to the bridge. It was my crimson hands. All that’s left is an open horizon of blue and a vast chasm set before me. It’s reaching out and shredding my skin. It’s reaching out and pulling me in.

Death shall take me as it does every man. My little world will feel the loss and be temporarily disrupted by it. Yet you can’t slow progress and you can’t fuck with time and eventually I’ll be a faded rock on an unmarked hill. It’s the end game. The final destination. The world won’t know my loss. The world won’t know my name and I’m not the only one. So thank you once again, for allowing me to warm my flesh by your fire and my soul by the sun contained within. For what it’s worth, it was worth everything to me.

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Posted by on April 10, 2014 in Paradise Drift