Give me but a moment, I beg, to collect these thoughts that much like incessant insects, buzz around my head so quickly that they make me spin. See I stared at a western horizon that was so black that the very hope was choked in my throat before a word could even be uttered up in prayer. I saw the world turn white at the darkest point and watched the world painted in cold. The red hill to the south was finally smothered in white as I fell backward through a warm moment and found a sick betrayal of momentum. I tried to stop the backward spin through the chaotic white hills that orchestrated the spin at the end of all time. The ashes splinter into a fractured sense of seduction, as the addiction turned pale and bled out all over the knights of perdition.
There they go again. Little bastards are constantly running away from me. It’s like a crackhead on a bender with two overworked cops thrown in a blender. See because they saw me, they assumed I was found. The blue stretches on forever, stretched thin over iced oceans and snow blasted desolation. I clutched so hard and still it seemed to slip my hands. I’m so very scared. I’ve seen the monster that lies at the far edge of the night. I was hoping for a dream that was worth fighting for. Hoping on a dream.
I would scream if I only had a voice worth hearing. I would tear the sheet that separates me from what I’ve done and who I’ve been. I would rip the flesh from the former to recreate the latter. I would spit back the pill and remember that the hole can never be fed with chemical satisfaction. I would prevent the constant spin that split the seems and left my childhood buried in black tar heroin. I would flee from the cold pale eyes that haunt the very air I breathe. The dodged bullet wasn’t worth the price paid in blood and life. The trip should have ended and the smile should still have been able to shine. Let them go. Please just let me let them go.