Category Archives: On certain subjects through the eyes of Chubbz


So something occurred to me. Why is mankind so easy to lead? For the love of christ people. I mean honestly. Furthermore it’s not even backed up by a plausible reason. It took mankind to go so fucking far outlandish with their tales to say, “Ok, that’s why we follow a man with a holy book.” I’m not saying that religion is the only thing ridiculous that people find themselves following off blind and shear faith. Other people are often perpetuating other kinds of madness and in this world of drama suckers and people who make up an identity cause finding yourself is just “too hard” or some such bullshit. Not only has this been going on for decades but it has never been worse than of recent times. Maybe that’s what the fucking Mayan calender predicted, the fall of mankind. Who the fuck has time for 46&2 lets all just devolve into a stupid state of human beings hooked on their technology. Let’s all tweet random phrases instead of having a family dinner, we are raising kids to know and love technology and that’s pretty much it. You don’t need to love yourself, you got millions of friends on facefuck and blabber or whatever the fuck is next as a social network. Now I’m not saying facebook doesn’t have its uses but come on people. Nobody gives two shits what you ate this morning, or how good your work out went, or what other dribble you can manage to drizzle from your empty skulls to just perpetuate the same fucking madness. STOP FUCKING PERPETUATING THE MADNESS ASSHOLES! Now Internet can be very useful. For example, if you have loved ones, people you have actually spent physical time with, and it has come time for your lives to split and go their own way. Yes, this is why technology, I believe, is around. We created enough stuff to still make appearances and keep in touch with people across endless expanses. Blogs are created for people to have a voice. To freely speak their minds in an environment filled with the world. Literally the world. People from all over the world look to the internet for information for anything and everything. I have a facebook and a blog. The facebook mainly to keep up with family and blog mainly to ramble and get random thoughts out and about. I’m curious to see how many people feel like me about this stuff. Mankind has always been easy to lead. Always easy to enslave. Even easy to be brainwashed into thinking it isn’t slavery. Tricked and deceived into believing they chose the enslavement. Chose to do the things they do when all they are doing is perpetuating madness. It has been a growing trait amongst the generations of youth. I blame our elders. Our ancestors lived a life of lies and lived in a time of shoving shit under rugs growing nothing but broken generations of people who are accounted as adults but can’t even raise mentally healthy children of their own. Generations have been neglected, shoved down, pushed around, enslaved by the madnesses and then we just sort of grow into it. Never aware of the other side of what could have been. Well I don’t want to be enslaved, I don’t want to perpetuate the madness. I want to be one of the ones who break free. I soon shall break away from it all and sleep underneath the sun. Before I sleep though there shall be a thundering quake. A noise that will not be understood, a noise that will not be welcomed. A sound that will either save us or kill us all. However the more I see how they have been enslaved I fear the latter will happen first. All because somewhere along the way we became narcissistic assholes who show a complete disregard for that which should be valued above all else. Life. We are in it. We are apart of it constantly flowing and swaying with it. SO JUST DROP IT AND LEAVE IT ALONE! Is nothing sacred anymore? Has no one gathered common sense? Has the world really become so blind they cannot see where we went wrong? I mean, really? Life, from the beginning of time, from when we evolved into beings of such a higher supremacy and what? You want to fucking tweet? What the fuck asshole?! We are becoming so technologically advanced we have found planets that match the same atmosphere, gravity and oxygen as earth and you want to cut yourself cause some insignificant little cunt boy named Beiber smoked a little bit of Mary Jane? I don’t know whether to laugh or fucking sob. Who the fuck… let me stop myself there. Marijuana…is illegal…and it’s a plant…that never has killed anyone…in it’s history. However Alcohol, it kills people from it’s withdrawls. Yeah it’s addictive, it will slowly cut your brain from oxygen suffocating your brain. It also turns people into drunken raging assholes who got a rough deal from life. However a plant, that has been scientifically proven to help relieve stress, depression, help relieve pain from CANCER. One of the most PAINFUL diseases EVER. Help people come to find themselves, and you stupid little cunts think cutting yourself over Marijuana is cool? When the fuck did we become this? I thought we emerged from the Hippie era. When weed was just weed. It got you high, hell I guarantee 80% of parents who are against Marijuana smoked it in high school. Again just perpetuating more fucking madness. Like come on people. This is the year 2013. We went through the 60’s-70’s and it’s still not fucking legalized? That’s the REAL fucking reefer madness right there. Genesis 1:29 “Then God said ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth.” Even though I believe the Bible is bullshit I agree, I believe God gave us every seed bearing plant on the face of the earth of which I list Marijuana amongst the highest. I mean it’s like it was created with us in mind. It alleviates the stress and bullshit of everyday life, of which is where a lot of problems lie in society. It opens the mind and helps us perceive things differently. It’s both an upper and a downer, without mankind tampering with chemicals. It can be eaten and it can be used for many different ways rather than being smoked.  But yeah, go ahead, kill yourselves because your false golden idol smoked a little hasheesh. Fucking idiots. Jesus. But do I blame them. Yeah sure, but I put more blame on the parents. Only in a world of negligent parents and such a high demand to live through an ethernet cable do we create a generation of kids who just feel bad all the time. They feel like they aren’t loved and they feel like they don’t have to love themselves. That’s why women are whores now. Cause they all believe they can just open their legs and have no self respect or love for themselves and as long as there’s that one guy who spends that night with them they will feel ok for the night. Now I’m not saying it’s all put on the ladies cause guys are just as fucked. We are taught that love doesn’t exist anymore so fuck what you can and get out while you’re alive. Then men and women get caught in the circle of karmatic fucking. Women sleep with sleazy ass guys who won’t call them in the morning and leaving the women feeling cheap and used, which by this point they tie in with sex which is why sex is given so freely. Nobody is their own friend anymore. Nobody takes the time to say “Hey, you know what self, I like you. Maybe I’ll keep you around. You are my best friend.” Nobody takes the time to appreciate themselves, they all have a low self image. Well once again STOP PERPETUATING THE MADNESS! You will find the madness everywhere. Fight it. Stop tweeting random bullshit. Take time to meet someone new today. Take the time too look in a mirror and thank God you are you. Thank God that you have yourself and appreciate yourself. Take the time to physically talk to someone. Don’t text everyone everywhere. Next time you want to converse, call whomever you want to talk to. Wake up. Eve was not created from Adam’s rib. A snake didn’t talk. Facebook is not a proper place for whining and pity parties. Youtube is not a debate website. Beiber smoked weed. Maybe you should? Maybe it would help you open up your eyes a little bit and quit focusing on what they told you to perpetuate. Maybe it’s time for the madness to fuck off and for sanity to reign. Please. For the love of GOD! Stop perpetuating the madness.


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Suicide and Death in general

Alright, so I don’t know why but my brain is constantly circling by this subject like I have something to say about it. So I open this up and just start going to see what my mind really thinks. As far as suicide goes I can’t say one way or another my opinion. It’s fucked up, not so much the people are in the wrong, hell at the time they pulled the trigger they probably had a damn good reason, however I am not saying it’s the way out. All of us at one point in time have thought about suicide. It’s how you deal with the thoughts and live your life. We were all put here on this world for the universal purpose to unleash your potential and help those you can. However what happens from when we are dumped onto this giant marble to when we die all matters. Even if you waste potential and do more harm than good to those around you it still matters. It matters cause you are fucking up the people around you. It’s all about the mind. I know, I know everyone blabs about mind over matter or some shit but the thing is is that this cliche is true. I absolutely HATE it when people cry to me, who are negative, or just depressed about shit that doesn’t even matter. Oh? A guy you fucked doesn’t like you? You do know millions of kids just committed suicide while you were crying right? Or that there’s millions of kids in Zimbabwe who are starving? Grow up and be fucking glad that you live here, in this moment, with the people you have, and for the love of god with the life you have. So on the subject of suicide I personally don’t think it’s the answer. I have thought of suicide many times but never gone through with it. Not because I’m a pussy but because I honestly, truly believe that if I killed myself it would do more harm to the people around me than help. Therefore I would be going against the universal purpose and that’s not a good road to go down. We get one fucking job in this world and it’s not to die by suicide. We all are never meant to die young, we are all meant to live a long, fulfilled life. However this is not the case. Mind you, there are millions of people on this planet and each more fucked up than the last. Some even get turned on and enjoy snuffing the life out of people. Killings happen. In my opinion the worst and one of the true mortal sins is going through this life and squelching other people’s self discovery. Self discovery is key in all my blogs because it is the thing that helps us find ourselves. Helps us better to understand who we are and where we should go and how to get there. We all go on a one way track through life, it’s called death. Call it fate, or God, or just random coincidence but I believe there are things and people on the track from here to there that we are supposed to help. When we kill each other and kill ourselves we are just leaving those people stranded in the dark. Hate to say this but we are all born with the same shit in our brains but like the old cliche, if you don’t use it, you will lose it. People get dragged down and brought to the bottom of it all and forget how to get out. Imagine the hell you would be in. Being pulled down by everything and everyone and just scrambling in the dark hoping for a miracle. I had been there before. It sucked. I had help pulling me out, and now everything in the brain that I had forgotten how to do have been rushing back to me with violent force. People are not weak, we all just get to a certain point where we forget we are strong. We forget that everything we are and can be is eternal. We forget that everything we are stuck in is just pointless, mindless shit yet we can’t get out. It’s like a tar pit. Tar by itself when heated hurts, it’s sticky, it is unpleasant, yet it will not stop us in our tracks. If we have tar put on us we heal ourselves and move on. Some people fall head first in tar pits. It is up to every single one of us to help those we can, and if we cannot don’t do any harm on you’re way out of that person’s life. You may not be able to help them but maybe someone else can. If you have been dodging your moment to help well Life will tell you over and over again and keep reminding you. You may run into that person all the time, or they enter your life, these are the people you need to pay attention to, however don’t lose focus on everyone. There is a reason they keep entering your train tracks and all it takes is talking to them. Suicide only destroys the overall experience and path of life. Destroys you from every person you were supposed to help. Destroys you from yourself. Killing each other does the same thing. It is definitely perplexing to think about, that maybe, just possibly, you are here for a purpose. The purpose needs to be filled. However those who commit suicide and those who die from cancer, or diseases, or by another person’s hand, I don’t think they are lost. I don’t believe they go to hell or purgatory or whatever. I believe whatever God put us here put us with our brain, and in our brain are endless mysteries. He would have known some of us lose it, we get stuck in the dark and can’t get out, and instead of remembering we are strong we remember we are useless. Suicide becomes an option, to many people over reasons that I do not agree are good enough to end your life. However the only thing I wish for those people is that they may find the peace and serenity they couldn’t find in this life. Life is rough, it’s not for the weak of heart. Weaknesses like this are brought on by other people but you chose to accept these weaknesses. They push you down and throw you around like a ragdoll. The only advice for those stuck in the black is, shit happens. Shit that we are neither prepared for or ready to accept. It’s rough and it makes you feel the worst. However just remember that you are you. There is no other person in this entire fucking planet that is like you. You act, talk, feel and love completely different than any person. You are a human being  Don’t throw away the human part because then you are just being and never forget that you are strong enough to take whatever life throws your way.


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Another Religion Rant About the L.D.S Church

Alright, so here we go again. This subject I believe needs 2 posts. I have recently got some information from someone who was forced to hear conference. My little sister works at a rest home in Utah where every resident is L.D.S so they had conference on in every room of the place. She told me that the church is in desperate need of Missionaries so the cure that the “Prophet” declared was letting kids go on Missions at the age of 18. Am I the only mother fucker on the whole god damned planet that thinks this is a bad idea? Maybe simply because I’ve dealt with this subject, being raised in the church and what not but still. Maybe nobody cares but I do because I know the damage this religion can do to kids. I met a kid who was 18. He was expected to go on a Mission, he smoked, cursed, drank, did everything that was considered a sin in L.D.S Doctrine. He was terrified of letting his parents know, or even anyone for that matter, cause if it got back to his parents they would cast him out. They would disown him. Fucked up right? Knowing that no matter what, your parents are not going to love you unless you give in to something you don’t even believe in. Change who you are, change what you do and change for what? However I still had faith he would break out, break out and go on his own path to self discovery but in this state of lost souls who the fuck knows. See this is how I see this whole “Go on a mission at 18” thing. As kids who are born in the church we are force fed something that everyone tells us is “Truth”. We don’t know any different. We grow up believing in something not knowing anything else. Not knowing that there might possibly be no God. Not knowing that all this is just backed up by some story of a guy who found gold plates and translated them using things called a Urim and Thummim. That sounds pretty sketchy to me especially the fact that NOBODY saw these plates. Or if they did see it they had no way of understanding what they meant. There are all sorts of Native American artifacts scattered all over the Americas and they believe that these plates held a story of where Native Americans came from, that they come from Jerusalem, that they are really Jews? However, this is what we are fed to believe as fact. As kids we don’t know any better, singing child hymns in Primary class at church that forces the same facts down our throat. We were innocent children not knowing anything and they fucked us up beyond repair. It truly is a cult. However as we grow up, more and more we have “Dirty” or “Sinful” instincts. We learn more about them, slowly, depending on how far the brainwashing had set in when we were kids. Some it takes years, some never learn cause they go on missions and come back with that same fake smile that says “Hello! I don’t really love you but you should really read this book, it will help you be a good person”. I never fretted for the kids though, cause it used to be 19 they could go on missions. That gives them 1 whole year to get out in the world, to break out of the sheltered lifestyle their parents forced on them. 1 year to decide if that is what they truly believe or if they want to go on a mission. That is a long time to soul search about a mission, however it isn’t long enough for the type of brainwashing that was inflicted upon us.

We all need someone to help us break out. We all need some type of sinful person in our life, not evil mind you, but just isn’t really sheltered. Not all of us have it. Under the old rules about missions some kids would break out before the mission, or even afterwards. I have known more return missionaries that lost their faith it’s not even funny. Now though, they are force fed this shit as kids, have nothing but immeasurable guilt about being a teenager. Still brainwashed every Sunday. Or even when they are kids and don’t want to go to church they have to go until they are adults. Now they go straight from being a teenager, graduated high school, going straight into a missionary program to go save the world and convert everyone to their faith. What the fuck man? Is this really God’s will? If the L.D.S Church is true, is this really God’s will? Knowing full well what the fuck these parents do to their kids? Squelches and beats their true self down to a carbon copy of themselves? That’s God’s plan? For years I have prayed that if the L.D.S church is true, I would hope, I would wish with every ounce of my body that God would tell the prophet something to fix this. However my prayers have gone unanswered. Either it is true and he doesn’t care to fix the kids, whom he LOVES SO MUCH(taught this in church) or the church isn’t true. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore, I can’t think anymore, I can’t feel that pit in my stomach turn as I watch little kids being raised in a family like that. Some people might read this and go “Well at least they aren’t being molested or beaten” and normally I would agree with you. If the option was abuse, sexual or not, or an L.D.S family I’d say go with the Mormons. However either way they are going to be fucked up, and not only fucked up mentally but they will have no idea who they are, or what they are supposed to be. The confusion, the guilt, the brainwashing, the so many taboos on so much stupid shit. They are still going to be fucked over, and not only for a short time but for life. Everything shoved in their head as kids will follow them for life. They could even give up on the guilt and leave the religion behind but everything still remains there. The lessons. The teachings. The doctrine. The idea that because you aren’t a part of it you are a bad person. Well the last post had a lot of hope, hope and more importantly a positive ending. This post however is not going to have hope. I have lost hope for those poor kids. I have lost hope that they will find out what they want to do or who they want to be. I have lost hope for when they turn 18 they will be shipped to the factory where they build them with that same robotic expression and views. Those views are not their own but were passed down through genetics like a disease. Religion is the disease. Believe what you want if it helps you get up in the morning but in the end I know that it is the belief in a God, not only a belief but structured around that belief, that will kill us all and end humanity. Let’s see which God wins.


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The sins of the father should not be passed down to children

So I find myself thinking more and more about racism these days. Mainly because I find this to be a touchy subject and I kinda wanted to rant about it. First and foremost I would like to express that I am not racist in any way shape or form. In my eyes racism is hating or disliking people for the color of their skin. I do not dislike any person based off of what they look like. I dislike people based on their actions and how they treat other human beings. I try not to hate though cause hate is, and I truly believe this, what drives us apart. I am white. Does this mean that I should feel like a piece of shit for the things my ancestors have done? Hell no. I am white but that doesn’t define me as a human being. Being Scottish/English doesn’t define who I am, it may define how I look but not who I am. The same goes for being black. Just because you are black it doesn’t define you to be anything. Being African American doesn’t force you to do anything or be anything. What we are, and who we are is eternal and it’s all in the brain. Every single human being whether black, white, brown, yellow, we all use a brain to function the same working organs and body parts. We all bleed. We all have a subconscious mind. We all are connected somehow on a subconscious level. Yet we are divided cause we are not in tune to that part of our brain. We focus too much on what’s on the outside that we forget that everything needed to be anything is on the inside. This goes with so many venues of human society. Prejudice as a whole really. Sexism, racism, looking down on others. It squelches people’s path to self discovery which is, in my opinion, one of the most evil sins of all. Crimes against one another, or just words thrown out. Now I, myself personally don’t believe in bad words I believe in bad intentions. If I say something, it should not be misconstrued as racist or sexist or that I hate someone. It should be taken in the context it was said in. For example if I were to say this joke. What do you say if you’re t.v is floating? Smile so I can see you’re black ass. Does this make me racist? People may read this and find me contradicting in a way or find me infuriating and believe me it was not my intent but read that joke. Think about it seriously. It’s not racist to say black people are hard to see in the dark. It’s not. It’s not racist to say my pale ginger ass glows in the sun. I am a god damn lighthouse with my shirt off. However a joke like this being said by a person of my complexion is very vilified. I’m not the villain, the part of your brain that says I am a racist for saying this is. Now, I won’t go so far as to say racism doesn’t exist. It does, in the hearts and minds of all ethnic backgrounds. Some white people are retarded enough to say they hate everyone who isn’t white. The Ku Klux Klan, Aryan brotherhood, Black Panthers. They are all the same, breeding lies and hatred through out these lands. That’s right I am putting the Black Panthers in the same group as the K.K.K and the Aryan brotherhood and let me explain why. Racism, the Chubbz definition of racism. To be retarded enough to discriminate and or hate people simply for the fact they are different than you. This has another word for it, it’s called Ignorance and closed mindedness. The K.K.K started cause a bunch of southern assholes decided they hated the blacks being freed. The Aryan Brotherhood just thinks they are superior to anyone who is not white. The Black Panthers were driven by their hatred of whites. It is not wrong to want change when it comes to you’re fellow mankind however making a party derived from hate that spreads hatred and ignorance against another people is just as wrong as anything. Everyone will read this and go “oh my god, he is bashing the black panthers”. You’re right. I think that The Black Panther Party is just as guilty of spreading hate as any other organization. Things need to change and I will give you that, but change doesn’t need to happen by force. It needs to be in the hearts of people. Honestly I believe that Racism among white people is all but dead now. I believe that most of everyone in America is now smart enough to know that being Racist is stupid and gets us nowhere. I believe we are on the precipice of either the biggest change in history or a full societal collapse. Either something’s going to change or it’s all going to break and this I know for sure. Like I said in my previous post that every human being as the perfect balance of destruction and creation. Let us all connect in that subconscious level and create something amazing. Whether you are black, white, brown, yellow or Jewish, or any ethnic background really which has been Oppressed and felt prejudice, don’t let what people say or do bring you down. Further and foremost never be ashamed of what you’re skin color is, and never let you’re skin color be the defining factor of who you are and don’t ever let it sway you’re emotions. Don’t give people the power you give them cause when you run into a true Racist person the only reason why he hates you and says those things is to get at you. Make you pissed, make you want to rip him apart. Don’t let what idiots say or do control you’re emotions. Stay strong and, as I always will end these rants, find yourself. Love who you are.


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On the subject of God fearing folk

I sit here, a tiny blip on a map of millions of different things including brains. The human brain is amazing, the fact that we are all connected on some level and yet completely different. For example I am me and you are you but we can connect and relate in a way so close it’s scary. I write this hoping some poor hapless bastard finds it and questions everything. Questions are the cure, fear is the enemy. I grew up in a small town in the middle of Nowhere, Utah. The religious oppression in this state is immense and I know that in some places it is the same. Yet this is the place I know for I was born here. I grew up in the L.D.S church and since I was a kid I was told that fear is the work of Satan trying to keep us locked down. My brain slowly started questioning and in the end I only found all the religious people living in fear. A fear of not being able to “unlock the secrets to everything” or some bullshit like that. A fear of not being able to live with their creator and family. A fear that excludes them from being them. The carbon copy personality types in this state is astounding. Looks like someone just dropped off a bunch of robots off the mission train. Two years of not being able to do anything but preach a gospel and convert people, of course you would come back the same would you not? Seeing how people raise their kids in this state, seeing how fucked up it all is, it’s terrible. The girls you know who go to Hollywood to make it big and instead get hooked on drugs and become hookers? That’s girls who were raised like they were in Utah. Sheltered, not knowing a thing, unable to comprehend why people do horrible things. Sorry but parents need to teach their kids what is going on and not only that but everyone needs to quit lying to kids. I mean sure shelter them when they are innocent but when they grow up and start thinking for themselves give them the knowledge of the world and life. The only knowledge given to me was God loves us all, follow him and live forever in happiness with you’re family. I didn’t know life would go down this way. I never saw the tide pull back as it rushed to suck me in. Movies, music, parents, teachers, everyone of them all lie. They don’t tell you that life is gonna suck, that when someone you love dies it’s gonna be like shoving a rail road nail through your chest and walking around. They never tell you that sometimes, and only sometimes, love fails. They also never tell you that when love wins it’s the most amazing miracle in the world. They also don’t tell you that you are the miracle needed. They never tell you that this life is amazing as well as hurtful. They never tell the teenage kids going through depression that life is 80 years of doing anything and that this depression is here for a reason but it will go away. Everyone just buries their heads and lets the kids raise themselves. Kids who don’t know anything else will always fall back on the religion, always. They fall back because that’s all they were taught to know. To leave everything you know is to start life brand new and that’s too hard and too terrifying. They would much rather live in the same place they grew up without living in a different state or country or anywhere, go on a mission and start a family. What nobody tells these parents though is how can the broken raise anything that isn’t broken? Broken people raising broken kids.  It’s a vicious cycle that never ends. I am one of those guys people glare at for buying beer in a store. For cursing in public. For wearing shirts that don’t have Jesus throwing you a thumbs up. In my eyes I have never done anything deserving of such treatment or anything worth going to hell over yet I feel millions of eyes glare at me like I’m scum. I have said it once and I’ll say it again. God is a crutch. God, if there is an omnipotent creator who made everything including me didn’t stick around. No I’m not being pessimistic it’s truth. Think of you’re brain and all the options laid out before you past, present and future. Of all the left turns you could have taken and you would be a completely different person. Imagine that but on a scale so massive cause that’s every single person in this world past, present and future. You can’t blame God for raping kids. You can’t blame God for killing someone. You can’t blame God for wars. You can’t. If there is a creator, this is what he is. He made us, he started the wheels of time turning, he loves us. He can’t interfere, he can’t help. He watches us and this I truly believe. I choose to believe this and yet we could even go further out there and say what is a God? Is it a person? Is it part of our own brain? Is it a duck billed platypus? Who the fuck knows? All I know is God didn’t drink and drive that night. He didn’t touch that kid. He didn’t put that knife to their throat. He didn’t put the gun to their head. He didn’t say “Believe in me or die”. That was us. Made with the perfect balance of destruction and creation and yet everyone goes the destructive path. Why? Is it the parents? Is it them? What makes people do these things? Furthermore what makes the victims blame a God? The answer is they don’t know how to deal with their emotions, they don’t know how to accept the fact that shit just happens. Sometimes there is an answer for what happens but in the end it’s all just here say. God fearing folk are the ones who use him as a crutch. They give him way too much credit and yet they blame him for so much more. I guess what I’m trying to say, my fellow broken soul, my brother/sister reading this. If you are in that spot where you think there is a hell and you are going there question again. If you are in that spot where you just feel a complete lack of happiness and the negativity has taken hold of you. Suicidal thoughts. Crying. Screaming for help from some distant plane of existence. I’ve been there. Help isn’t on the way but I’ll give you one better. Everything we need to survive and find happiness is inside each and every one of us. It’s that part of the brain that connects with friends to the point that they are now you’re family. Follow that part, follow your mind and find out about yourself. Don’t shy away from who you are cause at the end of the day that is all you really have. Even if you find someone you love you could never have their mind and brain the same way you have your own. Keep surviving. Never let go and above all else don’t rely on anyone else to make you happy. Find yourself.


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